Following on from my post about starting senior year of college, I have decided to try to chronicle some of the most interesting occurrences for this final year. Well, one happened at the end of last week. I took charge of a meeting. That might not seem a big deal – chairing or taking charge of a meeting – but it is to me. I’m the kind of person who absolutely hates the spotlight, no matter how dim. I sometimes stop laughing in the middle of a funny moment because I’m in public and someone may think I laugh too loudly. I refuse to answer questions in class because I’d rather no lecturer knows me and one time, when I had the opportunity, along with a number of other students, to meet members of staff of a company that I deeply admire, I balked and decided to keep it boring and simple, when I knew I could stand out from my peers. So yes, doing anything that makes me stands out, for example the aforementioned taking charge of a meeting with actual human beings, is a pretty big deal for me.
I probably would not have been in that position if the President of my department’s student association hadn’t saw fit to appoint me as the head of the department’s Editorial Board. I balked when he first informed me of the appointment and I immediately tried to pass it on to someone who I felt was more than qualified to do the job. The decision had already been made though and I have had to live with it. The meeting itself was amongst 6 people, myself inclusive. There were supposed to be more – maybe up to 15 people and I’m really scared of the day I have a full house – but I guess having a smaller number, some of whom I am familiar with, helped calm my nerves.
Apart from the Editorial Board, I am taking up a few personal projects this year just like I have for the past two years. What’s different this year however is that in all of these, I’m going to be taking on the mantle of leadership, if you will (I cringe at that phrase). So there will be many more meetings, decisions to and representations to be made over the next few months and I will have to confront some of my fears and perform tasks that I have never considered myself able to. Some of the tasks already seem mind-boggling but I have so much confidence in the success of the plans I have got so I am just as excited as I’m scared, probably even more, and I look forward to discovering what kind of leader I can be.